Disclaimer Notice: you been warned

Disclaimer Notice
If you're here looking for some good writing, close the tab right now. This is a blog that started off as a writing solace and instead turned into a place to rant off about anything and everything. So, this is going to be an awful lot of just penning down my thoughts, and then deciphering the confusion in emotions, with a not-so-gloomy outlook, or an ambivalent ending, if not a total-downer one.
Peace out. You've been warned.

Monday, November 28, 2011


       I got all my hiking gear ready. It didn't take me much time, and by the time I was done, Lexie was already there. I quickly told her about my plans, and she agreed to join me, just as I hoped she would.
"I cannot believe you had such a brain wave," she exclaimed.
"Oh, shut up, we both know I'm a genius," I replied, laughing.
"This is going to be so exciting," she said, not taking notice of what I just said.
"I know right. I always wanted to go on a road trip," I replied back. 
       I was cosily propped on my favorite armchair, while Lexie was on the other armchair. I had bought a pair of  brown leather home-theater recliner armchairs when I shifted into this apartment. I've always had a thing for cosy armchairs; I instantly fell in love when I saw them in a thrift store last summer.
"So are you done with packing and stuff?," Lexie asked.
"Yeah I'm all set to go. You should start packing too, we won't really have much time tomorrow."
"Yeah, you're right, I will as soon as I go home. What time will the bus leave anyway?"
"It leaves at six, so we should be ready by five fifteen."
"Mm, alright, don't worry I won't be late. Besides, I'm not the one who delays every task to the last minute and ends up in a mess she herself creates," she said cockily grinning.
I just gave her a dry look, which made her grin even wider. She loved annoying me because, apparently, I was pretty 'amusing' when I was in a bad mood.
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing," I quoted smugly.
"Oh not with the quotes again, you know they're just words said by people that became famous because the people who said them became famous."
I just gave her another dry look. I wasn't really in the mood of an argument right now, so instead of arguing, I changed the subject.
“You sure you in Lex?,” I asked again It would not do to have her cancelling up on the last minute, not that she would, but she most certainly was a very double minded person.

“Obviously! do you honestly think I’m going to miss a trip like that, a trip that could potentially change my life?” said Lexie, her tone instantly serious.
“Did you read The alchemist again?” I asked her, already knowing he answer.
“Yeah, but that's not the point, the point is...”
But I cut her off again, “The point is that till last week you were all about pale emo guys and twilight, and the week before that it was more about tanned Asians when you read the kite runner and before that weren't you all about elves?” I said laughing.
She gave me an annoyed look.

“Stop being so wise.”
“I'm not being wise, you just need better vocabulary,” I replied smugly, knowing that I was right. She shook her head slightly, giving me a very dry look
“So have you decided what clothes you're going to bring?” I asked, casually changing the topic.
“Hmm? not really, I guess I'll decide when I go home…” she replied glancing at the wall clock above the sofa, “…which reminds me, I should be going by now. It’s getting late, and I need to get loads done if I’m to get ready on time,” she continued as she got up.
“Don’t forget to set your alarm clock to..” but she interrupted me saying “to four thirty, I know. It won’t take me long to get ready Alex” she replied grinning, as I opened the door for her. We hugged each other, and she left the house, walking confidently to her car,  waving at me as she drove off; her car's exhilarating speed, making sure she left in a blur.

End of chapter 1

Yeah I know, took me long enough. But I finally did it! I finally got a brainwave and I completed the chapter.
I'd love to read your comments on how its going so far or rather, how it is.

Thank you! and happy reading. :)

Saturday, November 12, 2011

All that glitters is not gold

All that glitters is not gold,
some words have yet to unfold,
when silver turns,
heads, and copper churns,
beds, then know that will be end, of naught.

All that glitters is not gold,
all that shines will not be sold,
when betrayals become lies,
and yet no one tries,
to, behold, the conqueror,
of the triumphant deceit unmasked.

All that glitters is not gold,
one day strength will perish to hold,
the cup of grace,
when the stars of fate,
will then unravel the mysteries of time,
to show what was lost,
but meant to be found,
yet lo! for the race was extinct.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Food for thought

This one's for Hera Naushahi; thank you for inspiring me.

     Everyday I look into the mirror and ask myself, what is so about today? What is so special about this person? What is it about her that distinguished her as an individual? Everyday these questions bombard my mind and it is tonight, at his very moment, that I actually found the answer.

     Yes. Everyday, I look at the same person in the mirror, but every new day is a new adventure. Everyday is a new page in this book we call life; My life is a book and I'm the ink to it. Everyday, I can either choose to be happy about what I'm going to do or be miserable about it. Everyday, I can smile and light up the world with just my attitude. I can say to myself, 'today is a new day, a new beginning and I have a chance at life again'. I am lucky to have survived another day when countless people die and slowly depart this world, leaving nothing but dust behind.

     Life's too short to live with regrets. So why can't I live it to the fullest? Why can't I say 'why not change my destiny today'? I'm going to work hard and set things right for myself. No matter how hard it gets, I won't stop trying. "When the going gets tough, the tough gets going." I read this somewhere, a long time ago and now that I think of it, why not actually implement what I've thought or planned? No matter how hard the challenges gets, I know I'm stronger, which is why I'm still here today and I'm adamant of the fact that I will yet again win. Not because I haven't lost but because I'm going to revive the will in to me to try again if I fail.

     So now, when I look at myself in the mirror, I don't want to be distinguished, different or set apart- I just want to be me, because I am my own person and I am the only person who can change my life. I am unique, just as everyone, in my own way and I don't need to prove that to anyone. This time, when I smile, I'm going to smile wide because I'm on my way to change the course of my destiny...

I know this was more of a blog entry, but anyhow I just had to write it down.


Saturday, September 3, 2011

What is failure?

    Is it the habitual activity of human minds to continuously believe that they have lost? Or is it the voice in your subconscious mind convincing you that the journey you left for has been in vain? Too often the human mind starts believing that it is constricted behind walls and imprisoned with no way out. Too often it forgets that these walls are but an illusion provided by the society, to test you to your limits, to see whether you have strength enough to break them down merely by will power. Too often it loses hope and becomes delusional about the limits of its perseverance, determination, bliss and ignorance. Too often it becomes attuned to hearing others’ voices over their own heart’s unique melodies.

Food for thought:
·         Failure is an event, never a person.  ~William D. Brown, Welcome Stress!
·         There is no failure except in no longer trying.  ~Elbert Hubbard
·         I have not failed.  I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.  ~Thomas Edison
·         Supposing you have tried and failed again and again.  You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down.  ~Mary Pickford

·         A man may fall many times, but he won't be a failure until he says that someone pushed him.  ~Elmer G. Letterman

·         Notice the difference between what happens when a man says to himself, "I have failed three times," and what happens when he says, "I am a failure."  ~S.I. Hayakawa

·         Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.  ~Henry Ford

·         Nothing fails like success because we don't learn from it.  We learn only from failure.  ~Kenneth Boudling

So why, then, does the human mind always find some way to link everything to failure? I find it a strange abnormality that even the strongest of humans become victims of so called ‘failures’ and lose the will to go on again; to stand up again and continue trying until they succeed. After all, isn’t this little journey of setbacks and hitting the road again, called life?

Life. A four letter word with the most comprehensive meanings and explanations. However, my motto about life is but one: Life is either a daring adventure or nothing, so why not live it to the fullest and make it to the point where we can look back with pride on the obstacles we crossed and the journeys we completed, that eventually molded us into successful beings, fearless of the word ‘failure’.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Blinded by hate

Blinded by hate,
tempted by fate,
a warrior will rise,
to bring justice to cries.
Who'll tear them all apart,
aim straight for the heart,
and leave them to stagger,
with in them still the dagger,
so they suffer for their deed,
and insufferable greed,
for the riot they created,
the innocent man they baited,
the pure soul they raided,
the reason we will avenge,
their blood and take revenge,
because this is what they deserve,
for the numerous shots they curved,
in the man's body that lies,
in the grave where he now sighs,
for his death, caused a riot,
in our hearts and raised a light,
we will now rise and fight,
till we can, not losing the sight,
the focus; these murderers are;
their death isn't very far.
For they killed him, lo! In vain,
Made him suffer pain,
Shot him till he cried,
He kept begging till he died,
But they had hearts of stone,
The dark path was what they were shown,
they showed no mercy; now they will get none,
and they should be wary, and they should run,
for we will hunt them till we get our goal,
and it matters not, the later toll,
we will strive, till we achieve;
we will strike, till we pass through the sieve,
of lies, of betrayals, of treason deep,
till they eventually, die and weep.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

How to handle adversity: Carrot, Eggs and Coffee

Someone mailed this to me and I absolutely loved it. It's such a beautiful and inspirational message; something that really made my day.

Carrot, Eggs and Coffee:
A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying
a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.
Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."
"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.
Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.
Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma the daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its insides became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
                  May we all be COFFEE!!!!!!


Friday, June 17, 2011

10 second reading: Motivation III

I read these inspiring 10 second stories on Paulo Coelho's blog and they really inspired me. Remember "Motivation is like bathing, you've got to do it everyday because it won't last forever."

* Happy Reading *

 Careful with your work
As a boy, Abin-Alsar overheard a conversation between his father and a dervish.
“Careful with your work”, said the dervish. “Think of what future generations will say about you.”
“So what?”, replied his father, “When I die, everything shall end, and it will not matter what they say.”
Abin-Alsar never forgot that conversation.
During his whole life, he made an effort to do good, to help people and go about his work with enthusiasm.
He became well-known for his concern for others.
When he died, he left behind a great number of things which improved the quality of life in his town.
On his tombstone, he had the following epitaph engraved:
“A life which ends with death, is a life not well spent.”

Source:  http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2011/06/16/arabs/

From Paulo Coelho's Manual of the Warrior of Light:

A Warrior of Light needs patience and speed at the same time.
The two biggest mistakes of a strategy are
a) to act prematurely
b) to let the opportunity pass by.
To avoid making these mistakes, the warrior copes with each situation as if it were unique, and applies no formulas, prescriptions or the opinions of others.
Caliph Moauiyat asked Omar Ben Al-Aas what was the secret of his great political skill:
“I have never gotten involved in any matter without first studying the way out;
“on the other hand, I have never become involved and wanted to get out right away,” was his answer.

What is treason?
Walking down the street, a man asked: “aren’t we all children of the same Eternal Father?”
The multitude agreed. And the man went on: “and if that is so, why do we betray our brother?”
A boy who was watching asked his father: “what does betray mean?”
“It means to trick your companion in order to gain a certain advantage.”
“And why do we betray our companion?” insisted the boy.
“Because in the past somebody began all that. Ever since then, nobody knows how to stop the wheel. We are always betraying or being betrayed.”
“Then I won’t betray anyone,” said the boy.
And so he did. He grew up and suffered a lot during his life, but kept his promise.
His children suffered less and endured fewer hardships.
His grandchildren did not suffer at all.


Cost of grief is finally paid

It hurts already,
No one’s on my side,
Insanity is steady,
Farewell; all abide,
All alone, with no one to hold,
Me, when I’m breaking into tiny folds,
A million pieces, all shattered away,
True to my word, got nothing to say.
With a cold expression, I arrogantly stride,
To mask the tearful devastated pride.
Tears and fears all clawing away,
Inside, outside, keeping at bay.
Just enough for me to survive,
To lead on a miserable meaningless life.
Meteors striking, mind going absurd,
A voice that won’t again ever be heard,
But history will never be repeated,
I will never again be cheated,
I was led on, I made mistakes,
Won’t fall again in the seamless lakes,
Won’t let fate take its course,
Won’t let destiny play again hoarse,
This time I’ll win, be on the other side,
This I’ll fight, and seek those who hide.
For after all this time I finally learned to strife,
To walk alone by myself in life.
Through darkness and light, it’s my parade,
Where I’ll be when the cost of grief is finally paid.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

The perfect ending

       Have you noticed how sometimes, we all need that bubbly loquacious friend who laughs no matter how bad the situation is, and never gives up. The times may get trying, and at times, you may feel like dying but to be honest, death is never the answer to questions. You will encounter countless obstacles in this little journey we call life and giving up may seem like the best option at the time, but only three words ‘never give up’. I know it is easier said than done but what we’ve got to realize here is that we are capable of anything. The only thing we’ve got to do is persuade ourselves to do it. Dissuading ourselves will not do us any good, nor will it lead to the ‘lived happily ever after’ ending that we strive so hard to achieve.
‘and she died due to suicide’ wouldn’t be a very good ending now would it? But ‘she had lost almost everything, yet she found the courage to stand up and get back in the rat race’ sounds so much better. We all have that little seed of courage inside us, all we need to do is find it and muster it.

 An excerpt from Paulo Coelho’s Manual of the warrior of light:
The Warrior of Light holds the sword in his hands. He is the one who decides what he is going to do, and what he will not do in any circumstances. There are moments when life leads him to a crisis: he is forced to divorce himself from things he has always loved.
Then the Warrior reflects. He assesses whether he is fulfilling God’s will or if he is acting through egoism. If separation is really the path he must follow, he accepts it without complaining.
However, if this separation is provoked by the perversity of others, then he is implacable in his answer.
The Warrior possesses the art of the blow and the art of forgiveness. He knows how to use both with equal skill.
        Often, people are the root cause behind these upheavals in our lives. Times change, people change and situations change. So why shouldn’t we move on too? Why should we aimlessly wander in the past when we can focus on the future by living in the present with no regrets whatsoever. Why should we live with the ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’ that have us dangling on the edge of the cliff, when we can grasp the rope firmly and pull ourselves up, to safety?
       Unfortunately, we ourselves give people the ability to hurt us and taint us by mere words. But why do we do this? Why do we give importance to people who take us for granted and take for granted those who give us importance? Why do we think we let ourselves down when people break our trust? Shouldn’t they be the ones deluding in sorrow and guilt? The truth is, they should be the ones feeling sorry, not us; yet we still blame ourselves as a result of others’ actions. Is it because we don’t believe they were capable of such destruction or is it because we are too marred by the shock of seeing them destruct their impressions, that we created? Why is it that we are hurt by what others did or do? Shouldn’t we discern ourselves from such beings? We are after all capable of so much, then why limit ourselves to please others?
“Be who you are, and say what you feel because who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
Don’t let anything or anyone for that matter; stop you from living your dream. What’s meant to be will be-if it’s in your destiny, you will get it, no matter what. Never forget the fact that everyone is capable of achieving greatness; we just need to know where that greatness will be achieved. As long as you remember that, you won’t lose sight of your focus and success will kiss your footsteps where ever you go, so that your story can have the perfect ending...

Motivation II

Since this is motivation week, I thought I'd share some more inspirational stories that I recently read. All credit to the respective authors for writing them and brightening the moods and inspiring the readers to go on. Remember "motivation is like bathing, you've got to do it everyday because it won't last forever."
Adios till then.


About ten years ago, a young and very successful executive named Josh was traveling down a Chicago neighborhood street. He was going a bit too fast in his sleek, black, 12 cylinder Jaguar XKE, which was only two months old.
He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no child darted out, but a brick sailed out and - WHUMP! - it smashed Into the Jag's shiny black side door! SCREECH..!!!! Brakes slammed! Gears ground into reverse, and tires madly spun the Jaguar back to the spot from where the brick had been thrown. Josh jumped out of the car, grabbed the kid and pushed him up against a parked car. He shouted at the kid, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing?!" Building up a head of steam, he went on. "That's my new Jag, that brick you threw is gonna cost you a lot of money. Why did you throw it?"
"Please, mister, please. . . I'm sorry! I didn't know what else to do!" Pleaded the youngster. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop!" Tears were dripping down the boy's chin as he pointed around the parked car. "It's my brother, mister," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up." Sobbing, the boy asked the executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."
Moved beyond words, the young executive tried desperately to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. Straining, he lifted the young man back into the wheelchair and took out his handkerchief and wiped the scrapes and cuts, checking to see that everything was going to be OK. He then watched the younger brother push him down the sidewalk toward their home.
It was a long walk back to the sleek, black, shining, 12 cylinder Jaguar XKE -a long and slow walk. Josh never did fix the side door of his Jaguar. He kept the dent to remind him not to go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at him to get his attention. . . Some bricks are softer than others. Feel for the bricks of life coming at to you. For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves, God has positive answers. 

By Francie Baltazar-Schwartz

Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always in a good mood and always had something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"
He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"
Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.' I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life."
"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.
"Yes it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life."
I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.
Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers.
While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center.
After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.
I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"
I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place.
"The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live, or I could choose to die. I chose to live."
"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.
Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read, 'He's a dead man.' I knew I needed to take action."
"What did you do?" I asked.
"Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes,' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."
Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.
Attitude, after all, is everything.