Journal entry II

     Yeah I know I've been quite inactive for a while; to the point where it feels like the words are just bursting to come out. There's so much I WANT to say but never got around to. There's so much I need to write. Wow, at 1: 36 a.m., it seems ironic that I just opened my blog to write this entry down. I've been on a mind journey all this while, but what I realized on the way is that it won't ever end; this journey to find myself. Indeed, it would take an eternity to list every emotion or experience that I've learnt from. Moving on, pondering over the past seems like an unexplained blessing; tears for the harsh memories and smiles from the blissful memories. I should probably get down to writing something eventful, an incident perhaps? But no, right now, I'm just going to write down any thought that comes to my mind. Ah, how I've missed writing! This joy, it can not be compared to any other joy in the world. This feeling of ecstasy when the sentences are completed and the blanks are filled up. I don't think this joy has ever made me feel more alive.
       'Cogito Ergo Sum' in case you don't know what it means, I believe its time to do some googling in the next tab. Anyway, moving on, here's a plan I've come up with. I'm going to stop doing whatever I'm doing and start writing whenever a writing flair hits me. The instant I get that inspiration, I'll get down to work immediately. Long have I craved for the path of becoming a writer, too long have I stayed away from it. Now, I'm going to take up this passion seriously and actually mean business when I say I'm ardent about writing; I live to write. I think, therefore I am and it is that I am that I can actually sum up my thoughts and beliefs into words for the world to read.
      Writing means everything to me; it defines me as a person. It makes me who I am and who I want to be. It is the one activity I have indulged in whenever I felt low and the consequences of neglecting it at a time of need has indeed cost me dearly. Though this is nowhere like my usual posting, I still think I had to get it all out, here, on my blog and now that I have done that, I guess its time for a bit of serious writing. Here's something I wrote back in April last year but never got around to posting: [I know the language's a bit crude and its a bit unpolished but I wanted to post it without editing anything out. Yes, I also know it seems incomplete but hey writer's block isn't a choice now is it?]

 You realize you are gifted,

You realize you are blessed,

But only at a time when you’re estranged from a cozy bed,

At the dead of the night,

When the entire world snores,

You wake up and realize how lucky you are

To even have made it so far.

When people all over the world are dying,

When orphaned babies are seamlessly crying,

When kids from around have to beg for food,

And here you were sulking because someone was rude,

When wars are spreading,

and the horizons have enclosed,

The fields of peace,

Into tiny monarchies disposed,

To liars and thieves,

Who will rest not till they gain

All there is, in their depraved domains.

When floods are destroying homes,

and earthquakes shatter grounds,

When global warming’s a threat,

To all that it surrounds,

When living is a burden, to those estranged of joy

When death is just a word that will sooner or later destroy,

The ones who breathe,

the lowest point of desperation,

The fragments of an unconscious mind,

The realization of annihilation.

When trying times lead to increasing suicides,

and the strength to muster courage fails,

When life seems to have lost every purpose,

And no door seems to let light pass through,

There will be appointed a way out,

specifically for you.

Journal entry I

"Take pride in your pain. You are stronger than those who have none."

-Louis Lowry

 

  Stop letting people affect and change you. They are people; they will talk.

They will never be content, never, and they will always somehow find problems and reasons against you.

Rise over them. Rise ABOVE them. Rise so high that their mundane tricks no longer affect you. 

Rise above hate.

Rise above them all.

You are the pilot of your own life and you're the only one who can safely land it to a destination.

Don't hover in mid-air for no reason.

Prove your worth; but more importantly, realize the fact that people say or think about you does not define you. What does define you is how you act and react to them.

Laugh off the rumors, ignore the glares,

Hold your head high, and control their stares.

You are the winner; you were born for greatness.

So achieve it!

Your dream is not just a coincidence; make it your reality.

Turn the key and unlock the pathway.

Pursue your journey and walk on.

Walk onto the road ahead.

Walk on to the surprises,

                the mysteries,

                the fantasy,

                the dream,

Walk on to your reality.

Walk on to prove them wrong.

Walk on just for the sake of it.

Walk on for your pride and arrogance.

Walk on to your word. 

Walk on, never looking back,

for the ghosts of yesterday will haunt you to the grave,

if you but look back and turn,

and sit not to recollect the memories of your past,

for they will dawn upon you like apocalypse;

and shatter you? Nay! I think not.

For you are stronger.

 YOU WILL SURVIVE IT as surely as this time will pass.