My kingdom, my soil

The silence haunts, but I listen,

the cruelty feathered; I observe in silence,

for my oath was sworn, fealty to the king,

yet my heart belongs not;

it is its own master, and it yearns for but home.

My heart perceives, yet my mind deceives,

I hold true to my word, yet 

I sing the song of battles,

as I dance to the smell of blood,

and the rhythm of swords.

For honor, for valor,

for victory, for pride,

for salvation, for bravery

I fought; for my kingdom, I still fight.

A free man, I may be,

but in this soil's debt, I am,

till I breathe.

[Something I wrote while watching Game of thrones]

Journal entry II

     Yeah I know I've been quite inactive for a while; to the point where it feels like the words are just bursting to come out. There's so much I WANT to say but never got around to. There's so much I need to write. Wow, at 1: 36 a.m., it seems ironic that I just opened my blog to write this entry down. I've been on a mind journey all this while, but what I realized on the way is that it won't ever end; this journey to find myself. Indeed, it would take an eternity to list every emotion or experience that I've learnt from. Moving on, pondering over the past seems like an unexplained blessing; tears for the harsh memories and smiles from the blissful memories. I should probably get down to writing something eventful, an incident perhaps? But no, right now, I'm just going to write down any thought that comes to my mind. Ah, how I've missed writing! This joy, it can not be compared to any other joy in the world. This feeling of ecstasy when the sentences are completed and the blanks are filled up. I don't think this joy has ever made me feel more alive.
       'Cogito Ergo Sum' in case you don't know what it means, I believe its time to do some googling in the next tab. Anyway, moving on, here's a plan I've come up with. I'm going to stop doing whatever I'm doing and start writing whenever a writing flair hits me. The instant I get that inspiration, I'll get down to work immediately. Long have I craved for the path of becoming a writer, too long have I stayed away from it. Now, I'm going to take up this passion seriously and actually mean business when I say I'm ardent about writing; I live to write. I think, therefore I am and it is that I am that I can actually sum up my thoughts and beliefs into words for the world to read.
      Writing means everything to me; it defines me as a person. It makes me who I am and who I want to be. It is the one activity I have indulged in whenever I felt low and the consequences of neglecting it at a time of need has indeed cost me dearly. Though this is nowhere like my usual posting, I still think I had to get it all out, here, on my blog and now that I have done that, I guess its time for a bit of serious writing. Here's something I wrote back in April last year but never got around to posting: [I know the language's a bit crude and its a bit unpolished but I wanted to post it without editing anything out. Yes, I also know it seems incomplete but hey writer's block isn't a choice now is it?]

 You realize you are gifted,

You realize you are blessed,

But only at a time when you’re estranged from a cozy bed,

At the dead of the night,

When the entire world snores,

You wake up and realize how lucky you are

To even have made it so far.

When people all over the world are dying,

When orphaned babies are seamlessly crying,

When kids from around have to beg for food,

And here you were sulking because someone was rude,

When wars are spreading,

and the horizons have enclosed,

The fields of peace,

Into tiny monarchies disposed,

To liars and thieves,

Who will rest not till they gain

All there is, in their depraved domains.

When floods are destroying homes,

and earthquakes shatter grounds,

When global warming’s a threat,

To all that it surrounds,

When living is a burden, to those estranged of joy

When death is just a word that will sooner or later destroy,

The ones who breathe,

the lowest point of desperation,

The fragments of an unconscious mind,

The realization of annihilation.

When trying times lead to increasing suicides,

and the strength to muster courage fails,

When life seems to have lost every purpose,

And no door seems to let light pass through,

There will be appointed a way out,

specifically for you.