You gradually realize that everyone leaves and you soon realize no one will stay forever. And when they leave, you will realize that you don't need them anymore. And what's more you won't need to need them either. You will feel the tears in your eyes and you will feel the cuts on your hands but you know you won't go back to them because that's how it always is and that's how life goes on. They won't need you and maybe they never did. Everyone says time heals you but that's not true. It doesn't get easier; you just get better at dealing with what hurts you. That's how you become immune to pain. It's not easy, growing up and you make mistakes, oh  so many that you even lose count. But every mistake costs you, it's very few ones that don't. They take away a piece of your personality that you will never get back. It's very few ones that don't. They say perfection is when there's nothing left to take away so I guess they call an empty soul perfection, a dead face beautiful and a fightless spirit willful. Happiness never stays and they say what stays becomes stagnant. Maybe that's why all these ugly emotions pile up and become sadness; because they're stagnant and spoil over time. Words change and promises break and all that was said is forgotten. Love fades away, and when it doesn't it stays to tear you down to your most vulnerable state. It changes you from being blissful to broken and as the ashes turn to dust, you just stare into nothingness wondering if this is what life is really about.

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So I vented this out on my phone one day and I was going through my stuff today and thought why not post it. Happy Reading! 

               Some people cross the vicinity of evilness. They portray themselves as good but their reality is more distorted than shattered mirrors which would glisten red upon the morrow if someone would but touch them. They have idle minds that now encompass nothing but devilish thoughts and eyes. They think evil and they talk evil so the whole world just seems like a cascade of wrongdoers and faults and whatnot in their eyes. Such people have no sympathy in my heart, or mind. They should be punished for the crimes they've done and the heartaches they've caused. It is not their God-given right  to be viciously judgemental about every speck of dust. Then, why do they?
           And you know what the worst part is?
           That no one is there to stop them.

Embl3med all the way

The last time I heard them, they sang Hey Jude. But that wasn't why I fell in love with them; it was that first audition with Sunset Boulevard that did the magic. Emblem 3.
You know how you feel the music when you connect with the lyrics well its a moment like that. So I'd write on but then I'd rather just listen to them creating this musical dream-like haven.

True friends are few and far between
Hold on to them and don't let go
And they will make you shine when all else
Fades away... when it rains
Such a sight to see
Shining light for me
So I might believe there's a spark of light shining vibrantly inside of me
You're the one that puts the life in me so bright in the end
Said I want to believe
I gotta stay true and hold on to the ones I call my

With style, with spunk, with class
When your spirits like a lake shimmering like glass
And my reflection in the water is pertinently attached
I printed it in like a tattoo
Lets capture this moment or hold it like you want it all
Fold it like a load of clothes to your soul hold it all
We share a poem in this moment that you wrote it you know
I'll be there I want to believe
That I gotta stay true and hold on to the ones I call my
True friends are few and far between
Hold on to them and don't let go
And they will make you shine when all else
Fades away... when it rains
When it rains,rains
Rains, rains, rains

Everyone talks about dreams coming true and working hard to make those dreams reality, but why doesn't anyone talk about what happens after those dreams come true? We all know how we just have to keep trying until its a do or die situation but what happens when we do succeed, what after that? The dreams I have almost certainly become reality so what now? Do I wake out of the trance that has blurred my vision? Dream again, more so then before I do know now that dreams do come true; its not just an absurdity that people use to motivate others. But because my dreams came true, I also know what it cost me. I now know that nothing is ever gained without a sacrifice of some sort. So the question now remains, are you willing to give up what you have to in order to get what you want?

I say, bless me with a heart of gold
A positivity and a story to be told
I tripped, fell down through the sky,
It's what it took for me to learn how to fly like,
Oh yeaaah
Let me spirit fly,
My intentions are not to intoxicate but purify.
Give me truth, or everytime I hear a lie
Joy be the only reason I get teary eyed.
I look in the mirror to figure out who I am,
I thought I was a boy but I guess I am a man.
I burnt a bridge, but that's what it took for me to build a dam
I hang my head, I don't want to be that kind of man.
No no
That's not how my daddy raised me
Work your ass off boy
Don't ever be lazy.

I owned it on the ball field, so my pop praised me
You could never beat me down or you could never phase me.
A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do
Even in the rough yeah you gotta see it through
Have a nice trip though, I'll see you next fall
The only thing I know is that I know nothing at all
Just

I said sometimes feelings can be hard to understand,
But if we understood them there'd be no point to the plan
I reach out with my hand
And too all of my fans,
To let you know that if you fall,
I will help you stand
To let you know that everyday I feel similar pain
The purpose of my music is to take it all away
So I say, salute you freedom fighters
Wave your flags high for,
Liberty we will die for.
Driftin' in the pursuit of happiness that we drive towards
A better future my people and me will strive towards.

I'm lost, I find myself while I search
Now I use music to pray with no words.
When you lose what you love, remember to stay strong.
Look out the window and remember life goes on.
Sometimes, we get so caught up in our struggles that we fail to realize we lost ourselves on the way. And that, my friends, is one of the worst things that could happen to a person. Because its our individuality in those little things, little habits that sometimes come off as annoying but hey whatever happened to freedom of expression. We may share common interests here and there but its truely rare to find a carbon copy of the person that you are. And even then, our individuality remains as unique to us as our thumbprints.

I sailed across the earth in search of a humble head
Bermuda was a gamble
So I played my cards and I won the bet
I never underestimate what ancient stories teach you

Got so much to say but my apetite's really getting the best of me and its with this very line that my Emblem 3 playlist is almost at its end. I know this was probably a very ridiculous blog entry but anyhow here's how its gonna go, sometimes when people need to write something, anything really then they start off with incredibly weird things that don't even relate but eventually the writing flow gets better and after a few crude pieces, the better more refined pieces start rolling of the rack with more finesse than the Alchemist. Okay I really need to stop criticising books I don't like which just gave me the best idea ever. A BOOK REVIEW. That's what I should do!

Well isn't that a lovely way to end things on a happy note now. ^_^

Adios amigos*


*This time genuinely learning espanol.



 

Life's hard
when you've lost your heart,
to a traveller gone,
beyond the sea.

Life's hard,
when the waves rock forth,
the ship from bay to an end,
that's gone away.

Life's hard,
when the anchor is lost,
and so are the sails and mast,

and as your traveller,
drowns to death,
your heart sinks in
the Trench*.



*Mariana's Trench.

My life, is an unthinkable song,

The lyrics I drown in, are where I belong,

The meaning drenches me down to the soul,

Baring no flask where the treasures behold.

Arguments encountered and thoughts when found

 You know what’s funny? It’s the fact that people are so selfish. They’re so brutally, obsessively selfish. They would screw you twice just to save their own neck and at the end of it, never even give it a second thought. Yeah, it is funny how for some time, a few people claim to be best friends and then abandon you? When you need them most, and are at your lowest? Oh yeah anyone can say you weren’t there for them when they want, to you but how many can say 'I was there when you needed me and I gave up everything I had going on just to help you?' Yeah that is pretty funny.

You know what’s funnier? How people choose to BLAME others just because its so much easier to blame it on others than to accept your mistake. Has everyone lost their mind? What has our generation become? For Christ’s sake, these are our own friends, our own family, our own people we’re talking about here.  Is there really no honor left in anyone? People lie fervently and make people BELIEVE  lies so intimately that the whole absurdity of the idea turns into irony! I don’t get why, WHY people are such selfish murderers. Murderers in the sense that they murder pride, honesty, kindness, sometimes even innocence but above all trust. They slaughter the trust that ever was or ever will be because if a person is like me, they’ll apply the ‘Forgive but never forget’ rule. Forgive the mistakes others commit, but scarcely should you forget them. Forgiveness is necessary for the soul and spirit. We need to forgive and come to terms with not just the faults of others, but also our own. Sometimes, forgiving others is easier than forgiving yourself but what we forget is that we can never run from ourselves. Sooner or later, we’ll have to come to terms with the fact that we are who we are, and we’re not perfect. None of us is.  We make mistakes and more than often, we mess up. But it’s the messing up that’s going to teach you what matters most at the end.

  A friend once said to me, ‘at the end of the day, you’re by yourself.’ She lied. Even if you’re alone at the end of the day, you’re not going to abstain from living. Tomorrow will come, and you won’t have to be alone anymore. ‘Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it,’ Dumbledore once wisely said and while this may not be Hogwarts, it is nevertheless true. Not all friends abandon you and not every person you encounter will break you down. There still are good people and hope will always live. Because if it didn’t we wouldn’t be alive would we? And as long as we live, we will continue to rekindle and resurface the hope from inside of us. Live free, die proud, have fun play loud. You may not have moved mountains, but if you moved someone’s heart towards brightness and light, you have done your job for the day. Never underestimate the power of the good that you do, because one day it’s going to come back at you, perhaps at a time of dire need; Karma.

Its been ages since I wrote anything so I apologize for the extremely crude beginning. Its taken quite a while to write something but it feels so good to have let it out. I won’t promise I’ll write again soon but I do hope that writing comes back faster this time.

Till then,

Adios Amigos!

   The world needs a hero. Not someone who can save it, but rather someone who will tell them exactly wht they need to hear. Not someone to say 'I will save you' but rather someone who will make them believe that they can be saved. There is only one thing stronger than fear and that's hope and so long as hope exists, it can overrule any kingdom and any throne, any villain and any king.
   The loyalty of a dictator's soldier lasts only as long as the sword stays in his hand but the loyalty of a true King's knight lasts long after his sovereign has ended.

      Soft edges, pillowy frills and the comforts of an all too easy life- isn't that what most people look for? Sometimes, its the complete atonement of unrelated matters that combine together to form a huge ball of uncertainties. Ah wait, I see it, the crystal orb is supposed to show us the way out but it looks too misty. Is that why beads of sweat are glistening on your forehead? Is that why the hint of worry is starting to appear on your face? In that all too obvious manner? Ha!

    You came to me, believing that I would tell you your future, your destiny- but do you really think I can show you what is decided upon by God? Wouldn't that be unfair on your part to come to me and yet also simultaneously pray to God for a good outcome? That's like throwing a dice and then throwing another one so that the one with the better score can be chosen. I don't understand your blasphemy- you refuse to suffer through His trials and then you expect to enjoy the fruit? Without even sowing the seed? Isn't that empty headed thoughtlessness from your side? Believing that a mundane person can predict your future so surely yet doubting the entity who's actually responsible for creating it. Strange as it is, it is also amusing.

    But then human behavior has always managed to baffle me. But, what good will a simple fortune teller be if she starts pondering over life's philosophies and stops thinking of what earns her the coin? Better leave those matters to the higher ups, while they be content making discoveries and Sheila be content with her little tent of emotions in her own little world.

   You've got to let go the past to live in the present and make it to the future. Holding on to it won't get you anywhere except maybe drag you back muddled up in what was and what might never be. Little things inspire you, each day; you've got to learn the beauty of appreciating these little things with every hint of sparkle the morning light brings to your room. Learn the beauty of admiring art, defining it. Life's real purpose has never been to drag you down only so you can keep falling. Instead, maybe a pin drop of silence while you observe the ghastly spasms you encounter so you can appreciate the calmness of peace when you get it. Isn't that what life is all about? Hitting the lows so you can bounce back with the highs? Enduring the worst in silence and accepting the best as it is, no questions asked, no questions left unanswered.
   When you hit what you may think is the Marianas trench, think again. This isn't the pacific, and you are not drowning. In sorrows and gloom, perhaps, but definitely not in water and that is always a blessing to be thankful for if you are aqua phobic like me. In case you actually are drowning..well let's not consider that possibility right now alright?
    My humor seems to have run a bit dry right now, a fact I apologize to my readers for, but my point is, realization can hit you any time; while washing the dishes, taking a walk alongside the beach, while reading a book, listening to a song, or even just watching a movie. Mine seems to have hit me while watching Easy A while I was crying on the scene where Olive [a.k.a. Emma Stone] is in Todd's car having just reached home and while she was crying explaining her feelings for him. The part where Todd says his business is his own and 'Notoriety for whatever reason, never seems to benefit the noted, only the 'notees'.' Add that to a spectacular ending of '..But the really amazing this is, it is nobody's goddamn business.' That, for me, was the apex. You know the point where your life starts to make sense to you and you expect epic background music to play as you reach the summit of the ever long mountain you've been trying to climb; yeah, that moment.
    I've realized, it doesn't matter what anybody thinks, it honestly doesn't. My grades, my writing, everything I've ever worked for; its all been for myself. No matter how much I credit anyone, but at the end, it really has been for me. Yes, the lows do hit me, yes I've dragged into the pits of depression for quite an unreasonably long time. But you know what, not anymore. Its time to stop.
   Its time for a new chapter, a new beginning. This isn't the ending of everything I'd let go of; no! In fact, its the applause whose harmony echoes in my mind, at this very moment. A crowning moment is what it really is. A few months ago, I undertook the task of going on a mind journey; a journey to find myself. I believe that has now, in the truest sense, come to an end. I know finding the inner core is not the easiest task to pursue and one eventually disheartens, sometimes, even forgets the true purpose of what he left for. But there does come a point where it does end as you come to terms with the answer. I have now found, that I will always learn news things about myself, for that is how my mind works, always pondering, always so curious, but in this process I have to learn to enjoy every moment of it.
   A life lived with regrets is a life unlived. If you can not even accept your own mistakes and move on, then who will? Who wants to go to bed, with the misery of yet another addition of sorrow to their book of deeds? No one. So why not sleep with a blank slate instead of an overturned bucket? Why not make up for all that you've done and go to rest peacefully, each night? Every time I start typing a block entry, I spend quite a good amount of time pondering on matters of little importance such as the font text and font size, but this time, I just opened the page and started writing what ever was in my mind. It has been quite a while since I wrote something worthwhile and though it took time, I must say, it has been worth it because at the end, every experience, every mistake I've learnt from has only made me a stronger person.

'What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.'

Enough with the whats ifs and wherebys of each situation. If God brings you to it, he'll bring you through it too and I for one, do not regret the outcome of this piece of writing to be a somewhat ambiguous type of monologue and before I conclude, I'll say one last thing. No one's life is perfect, what we, as outsiders see, is not a perfect world but a perfect illusion of it; never make the mistake of believing your sorrows are the worst life could test you with, never forget there is always, ALWAYS someone who is in a worse condition than you are and because you are still breathing, you are stronger than you think. Because you've held on and still are holding on. Never lose hope, and never stop smiling.

Till then,
Adios amigos!
<3