It is indeed a rare commodity when I write something just for the sheer happiness of it all; it is an even rarer moment when I actually feel happy enough to write down what goes on in my head during that time. The best part of today is that this is one of those rare times. Normally, even if I am happy, I just like to stay in my shell and keep the feelings blissfully calm for as long as I can; I want to preserve the good memories in a peculiar fashion and so I refrain from writing because a silly fear takes over me; the fear of good memories and happiness being taken away, which was a worry that would unconsciously do the very thing I was afraid of- it would eventually ruin my day and alas, it would be back to usual.
Anyway, that is not what I want to elaborate on. What I do want to elaborate on is that I am happy and well to a random onlooker, it would be a strange sight to find a person happy because he or she is aware that he or she is happy. So why would an emotion have the capability of a person actually resuming writing again? That too after ages of motivating oneself to write but never actually indulging in the task? Well, the answer is in the question itself. Emotions, are what essentially make us human. The power to feel, whatever the feeling is, be it happy or sad or angry or just passionate- just the mere ability to be able to feel and empathize with how others feel is a beauty itself. It is what makes us humans unique and it is ultimately what makes us realize the beauty in just anything and everything. So I'll try and not babble too extensively, but my point is, a person who thinks only strategically will only believe in logic. I believe every person has the capability to feel, with the exception of Adolf Hitler, but let's just skip him altogether for now. When we get encompassed by our emotions, we sometimes lose the ability to think logically, but if we can maintain a certain balance between both, we somehow become one step closer to being ideal humans.
I'm not going to preach my definitions of ideal humans to anyone, but I will try and give you a better view on how I see things. A person with compassion and intelligence is an ideal human being in my dictionary. I'm not talking about what the person does in his daily life or what type of personality he or she has, I just mean that if a person can think clearly without letting emotions cloud judgement and if a person can somehow still manage to let emotions direct decisions to an extent, it is a formidable quality. Being an intensely emotional person, I am awed by people who can think clearly even when they're going through trying times or circumstances.
For me, the world is either black or white; I have a very "it's either this or not at all" sort of view on things, and although I try to improve myself in this matter, it is a difficult task. Nevertheless, it is an extremely wrong view because that's basically saying the glass won't bend but it will break if you try to shape it. In other words, it's too much of a perfectionist's take on things, and that my dear readers, is never the best way to deal with things. When a person starts to expect too much or even a little, he or she gives way to heartache. Heartache is actually too strong a word, I think I'll just go with hurt instead. Along with expectation comes a chance of getting hurt; the greater the expectations are, the more the chances of getting hurt increase; and feeling hurt is never a good emotion, for anyone. Most of you probably know this and I too have learned this the hard way, but I guess we humans never really learn do we? But then, it's also our abilities to fall down that teach us how to get up and back on track. If we were perfect, we wouldn't really be humans now would we? Unless you're David Archuleta, in which case you shouldn't even be reading about imperfections. Oh and David, the arch-angels still haven't left you know. Just saying.
Anyway, so back to expectations, which we shouldn't really have. Being a Muslim, it should be Allah we ultimately trust really and well I won't really preach my beliefs but it is the month of Ramadan so might as well just write about my true beliefs. From what I've read, if a prayer doesn't get answered, it's either because you'll get something better in exchange, or you'll get rewarded for it in the hereafter. But it is so incredibly hard to just wait around patiently when you're praying so persistently. I think the disappointment on our behalf when that happens is because we have such deeply ingrained expectations from everyone that we cannot accept that things might not always work the way we want to. Trying to accept that things work out for the best can be a difficult concept to grasp, especially if you're intent on trying to make things work out your way. But, give it a rest; Allah has a better plan for you, far better than what you, me, or anyone else could plan and it's a plan that includes everything that's for your own good. Not just your own good, more of what's best for you really; and, although it can be a trying measure of our wills, it is nevertheless true.
So back to happiness. A person who goes through ugly emotions often appreciates good emotions the most because that person knows the true value of being able to just be happy regardless of what anyone says or does. Some people don't appreciate the value of their happiness, but that's okay really. Everyone learns to sooner or later, and hey, whatever floats your boat, who am I judge.
I try not to make my writing revolve around the same message but every time I write, I feel like a different person; every piece of my writing has a different aspect of my personality so once I get started, even I don't know which part of personality my entry will end in. The thing is, life's too short for regrets. By that I don't mean go all YOLO SWAGGIE LET'S DO DRUGS CAUSE WE ONLY LIVE ONCE sort of thing, I mean, that there are a few times where we have to make decisions that shape our lives; we should be the ones to make those decisions* because having to look back at a former crucial point in your life only to regret your action would be pretty disappointing. It's okay to let others influence you and it's okay to want to know what others think, and but at the end, it should really be yourself who you listen to; you shouldn't blame your decisions on someone else and harnessing bitter feelings over time sure isn't a nice way to go because bitterness only grows over time and eventually it completely takes over a person. I've seen so many people completely change because of the ugly emotions they harbored; they were never bad people to start with, but it was the bitterness and resentment they had towards other people that led to all the positive aspects in them being completely overshadowed by the bitterness they felt. That is why I've been stressing on emotions so much, because when you let go of ugly emotions, it's really yourself you're doing a favor for. Not me, not anyone else, not that friend-who-isn't-a-friend-anymore, and certainly not that guy/girl-I-hate-because-I-JUST-DO. When you're at peace with yourself, you'll start to enjoy the little things in life, and you'll begin to appreciate the blessings God has gifted you with. You'll begin to see the beauty in things you never did before and you might just surprise yourself and how happy you'll feel. A particular blissful feeling will be feeling happy for others and sincerely being a part of their happiness, instead of sulking at others' succeeding in the rat race, you'll actually feel happy for the hurdles they've crossed; and, when you realize how everything seems to be working out for the better, that's when you realize, God's plan unraveling slowly, bit by bit, not quite the way you planned but certainly to the destination you were always destined for.
*Credits to SPN for the indirect quote by Sam's teacher.
